*On social media I follow a comedian who goes by the name (title?) of God, in part because I love the idea of my atheist ass being a follower of a (another) fake god. Plus, she’s funny (could be a man, could be a woman, I choose woman as my false deity). Not hahahahaha funny but ironic and sarcastic and, at times, provocative funny. A while back, she posted a question to her 3.2 million followers: Men, what do you think would be the worst thing about being a woman? And, I prepared for the worst, or at least a lot of superficial nonsense and snark (bras!), but hey, whaddayaknow, I was very pleasantly surprised by how great the answers were, as in very great, very aware, and very smart as well as respectful. Yay.
Here are a few of the best, because we give credit where credit is due, and because the internet is so often such a cesspool YET… it is also place where formerly marginalized communities and humans come together to create awareness, to communicate and support one another, to organize, and to show us all, via these platforms and the activism that can and does result, the possibility of a better present and future. Yay. Sometimes the internet doesn’t suck.
Caleb: A society that systemically caters to men. Being mansplained to. Feeling unsafe. Wondering about every guy’s intentions, no matter the situation. Being held to higher standards and targeted for failures in ways men never would. Having so little true representation in government, film, corporate leadership, etc. I could go on for a while, but these are the ones that jumped out to me first. And as aware as a lot of us are of these things, I think we also realize we still have plenty of blind spots and we don’t live with it every day. It’s really easy to have that awareness, but still enjoy life in a world where these are not our problems.
Nathaniel: Let’s see everyone is saying period, however I would not want to experience child birth.I would least like the fact that I might not get to grow up completely before becoming pregnant against my will then being denied a choice on whether or not I kept the child then being forced to go through child birth. Then being judged by the same people who denied me my choice. That is what I would like the least.
Mick: Periods and men.
Matt: Being expected to bear children.
Mario: Being alone in the dark. Getting often times paid less than my male coworkers. Being catcalled on a daily basis. Having much more pressure to look good. Not being taken seriously because of being reduced to my looks or simply out of misogyny
Jeremy: I know most of my top picks have already been called out so I’ll go with the next one on the list: having the concerns you have about your health being dismissed
Justin: Being a second class citizen.
Kyle: Constant fear that both strangers and intimate partners could hurt/kill me.
Erik: Less pay for doing the same work, being treated like a second class citizen, having some @hole try to explain things I already know, being told to smile.
Multiple men but especial credit to Nick for getting it: Having to choose the bear. This hit me in the feels like it was meant to. I get it
Scott: The weird stuff my body would do honestly. Periods seem like a 40 year monthly subscription to the worst magazine ever.
Joe: The Supreme Court of the United States
JD: No pockets. (this may seem silly, but the pain of no pockets – or girlie pockets that can’t even warm your hands, FFS, let alone hold a wrench, is REAL)
Luke: Living in 2024 and still being treated as an object instead of an equal human being, like we see all over constantly still.
Blake: Childbirth.
Richard: I can’t imagine how much periods must suck. Also, high heels. How do you not break an ankle or something in those. I mean yeah, they look great but jfc.
Philip: Misogyny, violence, periods
R. Philip: Watching people we love be supportive of leadership that would see us destroyed in every possible way.
Matt M.: I’m going to guess dealing with us men. God bless em for putting us with us, I couldn’t do it
Kevin: Being a second class human being under the law because of someone else’s religious beliefs.
Kyle K.: Probly the overall disrespect, constant danger, man-splaining/spreading, and general inequality. Or periods.
Lukas M.: Being attracted to my only natural predator. Having to answer questions about my wardrobe when undergoing post-rape care. Constantly being underestimated. Being expected to do most of the housework/child raising WHILE working full-time. Not being able to exist without men constantly evaluating my “fuckability.”
Stoakley: Fearing men physically. I’m 6’2″ 400lbs I’m not a fighter but it’s been 35 or 40 years since I’ve felt physically afraid of anyone. Having my opinions or knowledge dismissed out of hand. Being patronized.
Baruch: After living and working with women and hearing quite a lot of things they have said, it is probably a tie between men who see them as objects for their use rather than people, and the lack of decent pockets.
Andy: Being told, by men, what I can, and cannot, do with my body.
Mike B.: The lack of bodily autonomy. Not having full agency over my body would be a constant burden. The state controlling my reproductive system, the threat and reality of never feeling fully safe from violence, having my health concerns not taken seriously, a range of insults and indignities, small, large, and existential.
Brian P.: Not being taken seriously by half the population, politicians trying to regulate their bodies, literally to the point of death, guys being predatory, violent, and guys witnessing that behavior and doing nothing, double standards…
Tom H.: I am unable to rank these as they are all bad. Dealing with the patriarchy and the pay gap. Worrying about being attacked and raped. Worrying about victim blaming and forced birth following a rape. Having men try to control my body and reproductive health. Having to deal with puberty, menstrual cycle, and severe cramping and other health-related issues. Dealing with men staring at me, catcalling, and seeing me as an object to possess rather than a fellow human.
Richard M.: Periods, menopause, dealing with men, dealing with other women, always having to be on the lookout for hidden ulterior motives, always being expected to do things like housework, listening to other people talk (being expected to “be there” for others, a LOT), being expected to babysit, being expected to care about fitting in…
Thanks, guys – now, do better, support women, and call out your gender brothers on their shitty behavior, votes, attacks on women, expectations, cat-calling, mansplaining, micro-aggressions, unconscious biases, and anything else that contributes to harms to women and girls.