“Remember that every time a man commits a violent act it only takes one or two steps to figure out how it’s a woman’s fault, and that these dance steps are widely known and practiced and quite a bit of fun. There are things that men do that are the fault of women who are too sexy, and other things that men do that are the fault of women who are not sexy enough, but women only come in those two flavors: not enough, too much, and it is the fate of heterosexual men to endure this affliction.” – Rebecca Solnit
Could I love the above quote more? No, no I could not. I have heard so many times that the fall of Dobbs – and federally protected abortion rights – is down to RBG not retiring, leaving the court during Obama’s term. No, no, and fuck no. RBG was waiting to retire in the very real hope that she would be replaced by the first woman president, HRC. Her life-long work for women’s rights and place in society is unable to be tarnished with patriarchal bullshit when that’s essentially saying, hey, your life-time appointment in your case isn’t lifetime because female, and that makes you, one person, woman, to blame for what SIX justices on the court, all but one a male, did in breaking established precedent by overturning Roe.
I have also heard time and again that HRC was a lousy candidate, very much to blame for the election of Dumpster Fire, AND, therefore, the fall of Dobbs via his three SCOTUS appointments. First of all, HRC, another champion of women’s rights throughout her long public life, was a highly qualified candidate, also not to blame for Dobbs. And the discomfort we – not all of us – have as a culture with regard to voting for and electing a woman – any woman – is not on her or any other woman, but especially one who has fought for the principle that women’s rights are human rights. Not once have I heard even the most astute male political strategists or pundit say, ‘hey, y’know what I think contributed mightily to HRC’s loss in 2016: misogyny and sexism, among many other factors.’ JHFC.
The recent endless seeming speculation, jokes, glee, and other nonsense over Kate Middleton Windsor (or, as I like to say, Saxe-Coberg) being absent after abdominal surgery is yet another example of how the male dominated, run, owned, staffed, edited etc. media takes young women – and especially pretty, public facing ones – and puts them through a meat grinder of bullshit in order to make money, with very little thought for, respect for (respect women, what’s that?) all of the varying possibilities of what these human beings might be going through. I return again to the responses to John Candy dying of – heart failure? – and being universally feted, his privacy and family respected, whereas when Mamma Cass died – well, now, that’s different! That fucking cow choked on a donut, and isn’t that hilarious! Except, it’s not true – yet that story, that false representation and demeaning depiction of her death, the disrespect shown to her, and to her family and their feelings, that’s what is remembered, ain’t it?
Cass Elliott died of a heart attack, just like John Candy.
Other examples in public life, the macro level, are too numerous to mention. The micro-level nonsense is also familiar, too much so, the bullshit of what women wear, or where we go at night, the fact that ‘she was drinking’ equalling ‘asking for it’. More subtle cues as to how the entire system operates are all around us, the most maddening (to me, and possibly only me) are the don’t do this list for women which pops up regularly on my social media feed, when it is men who need to stop being rape-y, assault-y, harassment-y, and basically shit-ty. #DoBetterDudes
And to make another, related, point, which is that the male view is almost universally prioritized and highlighted (my favorite argument this week, if a woman was attacked by a bear, she would be more likely to be believed when reporting the attack than if she reported being attacked and raped by a man. yup.), whether intentionally or not, here’s an example: the following is from the NYTimes The Morning, April 21st, where two opinion pieces were linked on abortion – both written by TWO OLD WHITE MEN. JHFC. Just STOP already. Can and should men have opinions on Abortion? Sure – but to platform them continually on major public spaces regarding a subject which DOES NOT AND NEVER WILL AFFECT THEM IN THEIR OWN BODIES is insane, and enraging. Deep breaths.
| THE SUNDAY DEBATE |
Does the anti-abortion movement still have a cohesive strategy?
No. When Trump said he wouldn’t support a federal ban, it was “the most pro-choice position of any Republican presidential nominee in two generations, and all the largest pro-life groups continue to bend the knee,” Times Opinion’s David French writes.
Yes. Anti-abortion supporters need to maintain a moderate position and prioritize winning elections now before turning their attention to a nationwide abortion ban. “This is a marathon, not a sprint,” Mark Davis writes for The Fort Worth Star-Telegram.