I was – typically – late to the party, the Wordle party. Irritated by the number of my friends who were gleefully posting their results on a daily basis (about as obnoxious as the ones who posted their daily meal choices), I had read about this idiotic game, and was sure it was boring, stupid, and a huge waste of time. At the same time, I was playing the highly annoying, regularly maddening NYT’s game Connections, and regularly trying to complete crosswords in several different magazines, with some success.
Wordle. Meh. Created by a fellow for his game-loving wife (who was sick or something? during Covid or something?), and sold to the NYT for a huge amount of money, I finally got into it about four months ago and it has ruined, completely and utterly ruined my life. LOL. Not really but it did ruin – mildly, admittedly – my day yesterday. Lemme ‘splain it to you.
First, and typically for me, I have to play ‘a pure game’ of Wordle, which means I don’t look at the consonant or vowel the NYT gives players on a daily basis because that’s a kind of cheating in my asshole brain. This is an aspect of my style of thinking that actually has harmed me in life, harmed me, but given my age, I doubt there’s much hope of changing it. None of that Moj-determined, completely random and meaningless to anyone else definition of ‘cheating’, which any sane person would designate as being a part of the game but noooooo, not I. Can’t do it.
Asshole! Human!
The only time I have looked at the vowel-consonant clue was when I was trying to figure out how the game was played, on the 2nd or 3rd day. This is because I am also incapable of following a tutorial or reading the rules, which is another idiotic aspect of my thinking. Read the manual? Huh? No way. If I can’t figure this out on the fly, then it’s not worth figuring out, but I’ll get there, you patronizing freaks! This resistance to reading he instructions, is also, I know, I admit, not very bright of me – and has led to numerous moments of frustration, especially in regard to car nonsense, but here we are and there it is. C’est moi.
Second, and back to WORDLE, I was at 100% until yesterday, when overthinking the stupid, time wasting game (overthinking is yet another asshole aspect of my personality and temperament), I fcked it up for the very first and only time in the 4+ months of playing the damnable game.
Ouch. It almost, almost ruined my day. Okay it kinda did ruin it, especially when, after a string of 15 wins, I also lost at Connections. Double whammy. But there was relief too. I can never, ever get back to 100% in Wordle. And that’s okay. I can exhale. I am imperfect. We knew that already, but it’s always good to have it reconfirmed.
Dammit. It’s NOT okay!!! LOLOLOLOL. Of course it is.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Stupid games. Why did I ever start? Because they’re good for your aging brain, Moj, that’s why. Meh.