Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, two chest beating boomer boys and I got into a debate – an argument – over their bullshit posted on social media. One “will never support the ‘Scouts’ Again!!” This stance taken because the Boys Scouts are now the Scouts, for a number of reasons not the least of which is that girls have been able to become Scouts, having been admitted to the former boys’ club since 2020 or ’21 – so, um, not just boys anymore, name change to be more inclusive, makes sense to me but nope – total outrage!!!
These boomer boys are such fucking babies. In the over 50 years since he participated as a scout himself, a lot has changed. And, the Boy Scouts – having done what the Catholic Church did – protect and move around sexual predators in their ranks for decades, badly needed to reorganize and update their brand. They declared bankruptcy in 2020 due to payouts to victims of that abuse; over 60 thousand accusations were made, and made credibly – although I would argue that these accounts of abuse were considered credible because men were making them, men being so believable and credible and just better people, n’all, than women and girls. Not. After all, it was men doing the abusing, just like in the Catholic Church. Deep breaths. But yes, a brand update was badly needed.
Adding insult to injury, at least in my view, Mr. No ‘Scouts’ for me responded to another woman saying, ‘hey, friend, they changed the name because of the huge number of sexual abuse cases’ with the following: that never happened to me, my experiences were all positive. WTAF. This is a form of selfish denialism, cruelly dismissing other people’s pain in a way I find unacceptable. When I told a former friend (we’re still ‘friendly’, y’know what I mean?) I had been assaulted by two of my high school teachers her response was similar and equally unacceptable: ‘Well, that’s not my experience of them’, and, ‘I don’t know that about them’. Hello. I didn’t ask about your experience, I am telling you about mine. JHFC. I have never felt the same about her in the years since; she considers herself a feminist, but in truth, when it comes to her age peers (those two teachers are her age, baby-boomers born in the 1940s), it’s excuses, excuses, excuses…deep breaths.
One of Mr. No Mas Scouts for Me pals chimed in that he had stopped sending donations of any kind to his Alma Mater, Clarkson, due to their having a commencement speaker in 2021 or ’22 who was affiliated with Black Lives Matter. Oh no!! He went on to say that Martin Luther King would be rolling over in his grave at the way in which his movement has been taken over. WTAF? When I said he shouldn’t presume to know – as a white male – what MLK would think about BLM (or anything else, I could have added), his feelings were hurt, because I was getting personal, and I knew nothing about him. Well, honey, I know you’re a white guy in his seventies. I also know that Clarkson has less than 4% POC in its current student body or alumni. The Boy Scout asshole chimed in, what’s POC – People Who Cook – hahahahaha – not. And, by the way, speaking of hurt feelings, he’s beginning to feel like a minority. JHFC. The entitled blindness of these fucking men.
Is it worth my even commenting, arguing, with these guys? Well, yes and no. I cannot sit here and read their bullshit without wanting to at least challenge their POV (people who vent? hahahahaha. ugh). Silence is, after all, generally regarded as a form of consent, and I was silent – and silenced – for a long time in my life, certainly during childhood, and long after childhood was done. No mas. If I don’t at least say, hey, here’s a PBS segment about why the Scouts name change was made, here are the enrollment stats on Clarkson, then I am consenting to their publicly stated bullshit positions. Hey, guys, maybe Clarkson was simply trying to be more inclusive in inviting a BLM affiliated speaker, acknowledging thereby that the overwhelmingly white (and male) student body and alums of Clarkson create a challenging environment presently and historically for POC, including whether to even apply to the school.
Deep breaths. It matters to me that these bubble dwellers of white male privilege at least get popped a little bitty bit by someone, me, saying, not so fast, buddy. Not. So. Fast. My first impression – you spoilt brotherfuckers. I did say, ultimately, mid-debate, that given Clarkson remains overwhelmingly white and male, the new, chest-beating non-donor should consider chilling out, as his people are doing fine, and are very well-represented, as they are in general in our culture. White men continue to control the majority of the wealth in this country, as well as holding 70% of all local and federal legislative positions.
It’s not pie, I reminded my friend, as many before me have said. More rights or opportunities for others does not diminish your opportunities, or those (given these dudes are both in their mid-70s) of your grandchildren. What I didn’t say was grow up. Grow TF up. I will no longer stay silent in the face of your spoiled fucking privilege and petty stupidity. But, no. Instead all I said was that the world is changing, and I for one, am glad of it. Hell, Al Haig (remember that prick) spoke at my graduation, and some of us stood and gave him our backs. He wouldn’t be invited today, and that, surely, is a good thing, or at least – a sign of some change? Some progress, even if, without the longer lens of history in place, we can’t all see it? Sigh. One step at a time.
The arc of history is long, but it bends toward progress, said Martin Luther King. Yup. I could just wait for these old men to die off but – I am way too impatient for that level of long gaming it all. LOL.
